This is the fifth in a seven-part series on Living Your Values. Over the next several weeks, we’ll explore different aspects of how your values shape your life and leadership.
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Understanding how personal values change over life stages can help us navigate challenges, make better decisions, and grow into our authentic selves. In this article, we’ll explore the evolution of personal values across various life stages, the factors that drive these changes, and how to stay true to our core beliefs as we grow and mature.
Values are moving targets shaped by external and internal influences and experiences, not set in stone but developing through life’s different stages. This transformation reflects our changing priorities. Understanding how values shift over time can provide valuable insights into our growth and help us navigate life’s transitions with greater self-awareness.
Let’s delve into the ways personal values transform across various life stages and explore the causes driving them.
The Formation of Core Values
The Influence of Family and Environment
During childhood, our family largely shapes our values. At this stage, values such as obedience, fairness, and respect are often instilled by parents and caregivers. These early values serve as a foundation for how we interact with others and understand the world around us.
In unstable families and environments, forming personal values during childhood can be more complex and challenging if consistent guidance and support are lacking. Children might struggle to internalize these values, and instead, they may develop survival-based values, such as self-reliance or distrust, as coping mechanisms.
The lack of stability can lead to confusion about what is right or wrong, and children may find themselves adopting values that are reactive rather than reflective of a well-rounded moral foundation. This instability can impact how they interact with others and navigate the world, potentially leading to difficulties forming healthy relationships and making decisions later in life.
The Role of Socialization and Education
As children grow and interact with their peers, teachers, and other social influences, values expand. School environments play a critical role in teaching values like teamwork, responsibility, and integrity. Adolescence, in particular, is a time of great exploration, where young people begin to question the values they’ve been taught and start forming their own ideas and beliefs, which will influence their behavior and actions.
Identity and Peer Influence
Adolescents are typically heavily influenced by their peer groups, which can lead to a shift in values as they seek acceptance and belonging to their in-group or the group they desire to be part of. This stage is marked by a struggle between holding onto family values and embracing new beliefs and behaviors introduced by friends and social circles. As they enter their teenage years, this is when values related to independence, self-expression, and social justice often emerge as teens begin to expand their minds and assert their individuality.
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Exploration and Establishment of Values
Self-Discovery and Independence
Young adulthood is a challenging and exciting time, a period of self-discovery and personal independence. As people leave their childhood homes and begin careers, relationships, and independent lives, they start to establish their own set of values, which sometimes conflict with the values they were brought up with. This stage often involves reevaluating the beliefs inherited from the family and choosing which values to carry forward and which to reject.
Career Choices and Value Alignment
The early career years are a significant time for value formation. Choices related to education, career paths, job roles, and professional ethics can significantly influence and often change personal values. For example, someone who values creativity might seek a career in the arts, while another who values security might prioritize stability and job benefits in accounting or tech careers.
Relationships and Social Values
Friendships and romantic relationships play a crucial role in shaping values during young adulthood and throughout life. The need to explore the depths of human connection and for trust, loyalty, and mutual respect becomes more pronounced. These social values become central in determining the quality and longevity of relationships, and they often influence decisions about long-term commitments.
Honesty, empathy, and communication become so important that they become internalized. Our personal experiences often teach us how to balance one’s own needs with those of others, fostering values that support healthy, reciprocal relationships. Ultimately, the relationships we build and maintain serve as powerful mirrors, reflecting and shaping the social values that guide us throughout our lives.
Reflect. Reassess. Refine.
Life Transitions and Shifting Priorities
Entering midlife is often a time of significant life transitions, such as raising children, advancing in careers (or departing them), or dealing with aging parents. These experiences can lead to a reassessment of personal values. For many, midlife is a period of reflection, where values like family, balance, and legacy become more important than the ambition and self-expression that may have dominated earlier years.
For some, an evolving value system during midlife brings the realization that career success and ambition—which may have dominated their life—no longer provide the same sense of fulfillment and encourages them to move towards prioritizing a balanced life and personal satisfaction over climbing corporate ladders or breaking ceilings. For others, this may involve a complete departure from their current career, leading to a pursuit of new paths that align more closely to who they see themselves as and what they want to do by starting a business, being more creative, or dedicating time to community service.
Choosing A Career and Finding Purpose
For some, midlife brings about a career plateau, prompting individuals to reevaluate their professional lives and consider whether their work aligns with their personal values. This stage might involve a shift towards values related to purpose, fulfillment, and giving back to the community. Some may even pursue new careers or roles that better align with their evolving values.
How many doctors or attorneys have you heard of who left their practices to do something different, like Deepak Chopra (Doctor to Spiritual Teacher), John Grisham (Lawyer to Author), and Tess Gerritsen (Doctor to Author)? As you can see, even people whose careers are ones people respect and admire may reflect, reassess, and refine how they want to show up in the world.
Health and Well-Being
As individuals age, health and well-being become more central to their value systems. The importance of physical health, mental well-being, and work-life balance often comes to the forefront, influencing lifestyle choices and long-term planning.
Look at the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. People are more aware of the importance of health and finding deeper connections to the people in their lives that self-care has become a hot topic and a goal, and companies are now allowing employees to work from home.
Wisdom, Legacy, and Contribution
Focus on Legacy and Impact
Later on in life, the focus often shifts towards leaving a legacy and the desire to leave something positive and impactful on the world. This stage usually brings a heightened awareness of mortality and is when values related to wisdom, altruism, and contribution to society become more prominent. Many people in this stage have a strong need to share their knowledge and experiences with younger generations through mentoring, storytelling, or volunteering, which is a way to give back to their communities, support causes they care deeply about, and help those in need.
Simplification and Essentialism
As we age, there is often a natural tendency to simplify life and focus on what truly matters. Those material possessions once coveted and superficial concerns perceived as extremely important may lose significance while relationships, inner peace, and spiritual fulfillment become momentous. It is during this stage that personal values related to gratitude, contentment, and minimalism emerge.
Embracing Change and Adaptation
Later life is also a time of accepting change and adapting to new realities, such as retirement, losing loved ones, changes in physical abilities, or one’s own death. Values such as resilience, adaptability, and acceptance of life’s impermanence become central as people navigate the challenges, fears, and opportunities of aging.
The evolution of personal values across each of life’s stages is a natural and ongoing process. It is a reflection of our growth, experiences, and changing priorities. From the formative years of childhood to the reflective and more refined stages of later life, our values shift in response to the roles we play, the obstacles and challenges we face, and the wisdom we gain along the way. When we understand and embrace these life changes, we can make more informed decisions, live more authentically, and ultimately lead a life that is aligned with our true selves.
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Ready to Embrace the Evolution of Your Personal Values?
As you journey through life, your values will naturally evolve, reflecting your growth, experiences, and changing priorities. Understanding these shifts is key to living a life that is authentic and aligned with who you truly are.
Take the Next Step: Reflect on how your values have transformed over time and consider how they influence your current decisions. If you’re seeking guidance in navigating these changes, aligning your life with your core beliefs, or simply exploring what truly matters to you, our coaching programs at Human Being Human, LLC are here to support you.
Start Your Journey of Self-Discovery Today – Schedule a free consultation and explore how you can navigate life’s stages with greater self-awareness and purpose.
In next week’s article, we’ll explore navigating change and staying true to yourself.
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